Still Bummed Out

So I didn't get my promotion. The DM gave it to his daughter under the pretense that she has been with the company longer than I have. Personally, I think that is a bunch of bull. I worked so hard in Murray the last few weeks to clean and make that place sparkle. And it was all for naught. In a way, I feel relieved. There were a few issues there with people that i wish I could say would blow over. Their lead (what I do) hates me and thinks I am taking over her job, which I kind of did, but only because my boss told me to train her how to be a lead. Another guy was just creepy and he made my skin crawl. How do you deal with people like that?

The next position open will be mine first, according to the DM, but it is in Provo, which means that i will be moving back there. While I will have the Provo gals back, I'll miss you guys here. I have a lot of praying and decision making to do in the next few weeks. It would be perfect for us to go there...Brian needs to transfer schools, and I would be making 30-35k a year, but is it the right decision to make right now? Seems how we don't have kids yet, the decision will be a bit easier to make. Living here with the parents is a hard thing to do, and I would like to have my own place again. Living here has made me feel like my life really has no purpose. I just exist from day to day, doing what I need to do without much happiness. Thank heaven for Brian. He makes me so happy. He literally gives me the strength I need to make it through.

I watched Julia and Julie the other day. I know this is lame, but I am going to steal ideas from that julie person. I am going to find a new recipe a week and make it and blog about it. Just to you guys, but I think it will make me feel like I have something to do and something to look forward to doing.

Wow...my life is boring. I do facebook, I read and I work. I need to get out more. I remember I used to drive around just because I wanted to drive around. I would randomly make stupid stuff to eat because I didn't care what was in it or how many calories it had. I would buy a shirt at the mall and I didn't care if it was the last of my money for the week. Oy. I suppose if I were completely blissfully happy I wouldn't like it either. I think that what I am lacking is my sense of being myself. Does that make sense? Living here makes me feel like I have to do things a certain way, be somebody else. I'm done with that.