Bummed Out

Everyone is either pregnant or having kids, except me. It makes me feel like a reject among my friends, though that certainly won't be the first time I've felt like that. I'm beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me. We have been trying for a year and a half to get pregnant and every month, nothing ever happens. Every time I start, I get a pang of disappointment followed by, "Well, maybe next month." But next month it is always the same. I think I will utilize my time instead on making myself a better person and losing lots of weight. Perhaps having a baby is not for me. I've quit school. I'm not really sure what I want to spend the rest of my life doing, but I don't want to demo forever. Perhaps if I get that manager job, Brian and I could buy a house. That would be nice. I have missed having my own space and being able to do whatever I want to do. I've missed being able to pull my craft stuff out for days at a time, and just work on stuff, but here, I have to immediately put it all away. I feel like I can never get anything done. Sorry this is a whiny and pity me post...just feeling a bit depressed today, I guess.