I'm feeling slightly better today. I'm just watching the boys play Call of Duty. It is rather boring. I don't like the game, but whatever. I don't have anything better to do. I'm chatting to people, and writing in my blog.

Things have settled down around here. I've been feeling a bit off the last little while, but I feel a lot better today. I've been losing weight too, which makes me very happy. I think I may push my recipe thing off til next week, I have a dr's appointment to go to, and I don't think I will feel much like making something. The only thing I have stuff to make is a mixed berry pie anyway, and the recipe is in my head...maybe I'll make it anyway. I've been craving a berry pie. I just need some more berries. ;)

I know this post is random and boring, so I'm sorry. I'm just rambling because I am bored.

Still Bummed Out

So I didn't get my promotion. The DM gave it to his daughter under the pretense that she has been with the company longer than I have. Personally, I think that is a bunch of bull. I worked so hard in Murray the last few weeks to clean and make that place sparkle. And it was all for naught. In a way, I feel relieved. There were a few issues there with people that i wish I could say would blow over. Their lead (what I do) hates me and thinks I am taking over her job, which I kind of did, but only because my boss told me to train her how to be a lead. Another guy was just creepy and he made my skin crawl. How do you deal with people like that?

The next position open will be mine first, according to the DM, but it is in Provo, which means that i will be moving back there. While I will have the Provo gals back, I'll miss you guys here. I have a lot of praying and decision making to do in the next few weeks. It would be perfect for us to go there...Brian needs to transfer schools, and I would be making 30-35k a year, but is it the right decision to make right now? Seems how we don't have kids yet, the decision will be a bit easier to make. Living here with the parents is a hard thing to do, and I would like to have my own place again. Living here has made me feel like my life really has no purpose. I just exist from day to day, doing what I need to do without much happiness. Thank heaven for Brian. He makes me so happy. He literally gives me the strength I need to make it through.

I watched Julia and Julie the other day. I know this is lame, but I am going to steal ideas from that julie person. I am going to find a new recipe a week and make it and blog about it. Just to you guys, but I think it will make me feel like I have something to do and something to look forward to doing.

Wow...my life is boring. I do facebook, I read and I work. I need to get out more. I remember I used to drive around just because I wanted to drive around. I would randomly make stupid stuff to eat because I didn't care what was in it or how many calories it had. I would buy a shirt at the mall and I didn't care if it was the last of my money for the week. Oy. I suppose if I were completely blissfully happy I wouldn't like it either. I think that what I am lacking is my sense of being myself. Does that make sense? Living here makes me feel like I have to do things a certain way, be somebody else. I'm done with that.

Bummed Out

Everyone is either pregnant or having kids, except me. It makes me feel like a reject among my friends, though that certainly won't be the first time I've felt like that. I'm beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me. We have been trying for a year and a half to get pregnant and every month, nothing ever happens. Every time I start, I get a pang of disappointment followed by, "Well, maybe next month." But next month it is always the same. I think I will utilize my time instead on making myself a better person and losing lots of weight. Perhaps having a baby is not for me. I've quit school. I'm not really sure what I want to spend the rest of my life doing, but I don't want to demo forever. Perhaps if I get that manager job, Brian and I could buy a house. That would be nice. I have missed having my own space and being able to do whatever I want to do. I've missed being able to pull my craft stuff out for days at a time, and just work on stuff, but here, I have to immediately put it all away. I feel like I can never get anything done. Sorry this is a whiny and pity me post...just feeling a bit depressed today, I guess.

Busy Week

So i just found out today that my boss has not paid me for the last few days that I've worked 8+ hours a day and she's only paid me for 6. I'm missing a whole 80 dollars. That really pisses me off.

I also may be getting a promotion at my work to be a manager like my boss. She thinks I can do it, and I hope she's right. I have been second guessing myself like crazy. I have an interview next week, but until then, I will be working in the murray store (where I will be posted) and stuff taking care of everything. I will be the boss. I think they want to see how I do before they give me an interview. I will have to work 40 hours a week for a salary of 30K a year. I will have to work seven days a week til I get things up and running, and i'll have to work some sundays a month. I was hoping to still have sundays off, but for 30K a year, I think I can handle at least one. ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know...wish me luck!

I've had quite the time trying to get pictures to upload, so this is all that i will do for tonight. Most of these are from Wheeler Farm. I will upload more and update you on life tomorrow. For right now, I'm tired. A nice old John Deere tractor. Brian was driving one once and ran it into a builing and dented the building. Needless to say, they didn't let him drive the tractor again...
There are tons of old farm tools and equipment all over the place. I think it is cool that they have so much of the original stuff.

What a big sheep, huh? There was a lamb, too, but it was hiding from us. I think this is one of the biggest sheep I have seen.

This is the milking barn. You have to pay 50 cents to watch them milk the cows or to milk them yourselves. It's crazy. I though it was interesting...

This is the farm house. It has been there since late 1800 something.

There were TONS of geese everywhere up there!

I think this is my absolute favorite of the bunch. I prefer to take pictures of landscape rather than people. I think they turn out better.

I love this tree.

An old and likely broken wagon. Cool though.

I just liked the way the stream looks with the tree.

Activities barn at Wheeler Farm. They were supposed to have an art show going on, but it was some stupid corporate meeting, so no art show on the day we went. :(

This is the entertainment center we bought for our new tv. It was on clearance for like a hundred bucks, regularly 200. We also bought a blueray player and Brian got a PS3 from his work for free, so holy technology...

This is what part of our taxes bought us. A 47' flat screen LCD tv. It was on clearance. We liked it so we bought it.

This is Brian's turtle. ADHD. He is the easiest to get pictures of. He just sits there. I have to admit, ADHD is my favorite of the two, even if he is a little crazy. :)